Day 85. On leaving

It felt like a sea of time. When I arrived here, an old villa across the Danube a few kilometers from Grein, I decided to stay 2 nights but already the next morning I started thinking about another 2 nights. I wanted to write my stories and think and embroider and write an important application and wash my cloths and organise things. Most important of all: I wanted to think about all that had happened before I would leave the mighty river and walk into the mountains.

I always want too much. I always think too much. The first day I only slept. The second day my body tried to get back into its natural rhythm which is working at night. The third day, this morning, my body told me it wanted to stay. My lower back gave me a very painful warning. But I won't listen. I have to go tomorrow.

And now it is the last afternoon on my balcony and there is so much I still want to do. It is impossible. So the best thing is to do nothing. To sit. To be. To look at the river. Because all of those things I could do on another day. But sitting on this balcony with the Danube and the surrounding hills withing spitting distance won't happen again.

I will pour myself some wine and close my computer. After I add these words, words I wrote in Bamberg after I left Königsberg:

I left again. Just after I arrived.
The leaving was already there
Had arrived the same time I arrived

I didn't unpack.
I didn't take off my shoes.
I didn't love anybody too much.
Only a little more than leaving requires.

Only a lot.

But leaving is easy
When you live in it
When leaving means staying with yourself

Today's story is for Henrik Bondo (although I didn't knew when I wrote this, explanation at day 87)

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